I worried about how I would do with three children, instead of two. I am doing it. Just doing it. It happens, it all falls together. It is hard, I won't lie, but it happens. It works.
I worried about his appetite and tummy troubles and what I was eating that wasn't settling in his tummy. We worked that out too. He is good, he is gaining and he eats like a champ. I have bouts of feeling like a failure, for not breast feeding any more. I know I shouldn't, but I do. And, I miss it terribly. But, he is good. He is doing good on formula. I just miss that bond, that specific bond. And that it was my last chance to breast feed.
I worried about how the other kids would be with a new brother. They love him. They spoil him. They love to help and hold and feed and love on him. They are great. They too keep me going and so very content in my heart. Ryker is so lucky to have them as his family.
I worried about Matt and fatherhood for him. Not that he couldn't do it, just simple worry. He is great. He is the best. He and Ryker are so very close and he is my hero for that. He has a calm about him. The patience I don't always have and Ryker is one of the best things to happen for Matt. And for me.
All this past worry aside. This past 8 weeks has flown by and I really just can't believe it. He is getting so big, starting to smile, starting to coo. If you put him on his belly for tummy time, he flips himself over. Not on purpose, just being top heavy, but it is so cute. In fact, tonight was the first time he did that. He is so strong and so perfect.
I patiently await our future with Ryker. For me, for our family, for everyone. He is so special. I love him more than any words could tell you. I love him more than even I know.
